i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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