Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
