Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
