And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
