dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
