Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
