I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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