Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
