You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
