Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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