haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
