16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
