Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
