I cannot find my penis.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
