giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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