He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
