i think i have herpe
just one?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
