im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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