He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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