Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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