I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
