i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
