Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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