Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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