Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
