i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
