i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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