his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
