I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
