I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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