You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
