Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize