Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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