the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
