i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
