if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So apparently I’m into choking now
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