I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
