what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
