"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
