After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
