I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
