just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
