Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
