FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
