i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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