Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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