dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
