he puts the penis in happiness.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
