I must be too annoying 4 u.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
