Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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