He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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