Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So much Jack, so little girl.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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