Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
