I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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