imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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