ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize