I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
These tits shall not be calmed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
