these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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