worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
