The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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