I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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