that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
