Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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