i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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