dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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