what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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