Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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