FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need to calm my uterus...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
